No! No! The Drink! The Drink! O My Dear Omlet!

The drink! The drink! I am poison’d. [VOMITS]

Okay, so my reality isn’t exactly the same as a Shakespearean drama. But, like Gertrude, I was inadvertently poisoned, although with slightly less disastrous results.

You think going out to eat with your Grandma would be safe. Who knew but for the sword fight…  And I could make this stuff up, if we’re being honest, but I didn’t! A simple lunch with my Grandma has turned into a situation with investigators and state officials. It’s CSI – Sycamore.

So what did I expect? Well, on CSI, things like poisonings lead to sexy men in just-so-fitting-and-dressy-but-still-casual clothing interacting with women dressed in ridiculous heels and plunging necklines running down back alleys in pursuit of ne'er-do-well but equally sexy criminals. There are usually fast cars, bartender interrogations, back-room deals, and sexual tension.

I got a phone call from a young woman at the DeKalb County Health Department who asked awkward questions and requested a stool sample. I think I should at least get to talk to a bartender or get a clandestine … something!

I think I’ll turn this situation into a play, or at least a poem. The reality of CSI – Sycamore is just not making the grade.

I wonder if Shakespeare ever went out to eat with his Grandma? Inspiration has come from stranger places.